Dear Darya my little ultimate warrior
26 July 2012 was your scheduled Syndactyly Surgery and it was also the midst of Ramadhan, the fasting period.
I was not much of a nervous wreck with your 2nd surgery as compared to your first. I was so at peace, I was almost Zen-like. Ohmmmm hur hur hur. The slight jitters of what to expect post-surgery and how you would cope with the surgery were still unavoidable. Come what may, I decided. Will deal with those later when the time comes.
Fingers! Fingers! Fingers! Pre-surgery helloooo~
Took a couple of 'before-surgery' photos of your fingers while you were sleeping.
The morning of the surgery. Changing you while you were still asleep. The trick was to make you stay asleep longer because we didn't want to risk (MUAHAHAH!) the screaming of bloody murder when you grew hungry/thirsty. (You had to fast since 5am this time. Your surgery was scheduled at 1.30pm) BUUUUT of course that failed. You woke up the minute I picked you up to leave for the hospital.
Operation Parental Unit Distraction was in order!
Awww little buddy in the same ward came over and gave Darya a face massage.
Probably a welcoming party gift hahahaha.
Instructions from the nurse prior to the surgery and little miss butt in. "Gimme the clipboard!"
Climbing here and there.
It's ok, it's alright. Come on Darya fight fight fight!
It's ok, it's alright. Come on Darya fight fight fight!
As long as there's no screams of hunger that will rip the parental unit's hearts (and bleeding eardrums) apart.
BEEP BEEP! Check out the chauffeur's face
Hungry kid is an angry kid. *starts biting into things*
While waiting for your turn in the operating theater, you were crawling all over the place. You got crank-ier and hungr-ier by then.
This time round I gave your Aby a chance to accompany you in the op theatre and witnessed you being put under the heart wrenching procedure of General Anesthesia before the surgery. Sobs. *holds my chest* You started to cry before entering the op theatre. I could hear your screamings down the hall and then silence.
I know you are in good hands. I know God is with us.
2 hours 15minutes later; a call from the surgery room to say you were awake. I ran down as fast as I could. You were naked and stoned as hell. They said you ran a slight fever after the surgery but it's normal. I smothered you with hugs and kisses and you were still groggy as your head bobbed left to right and knocked against my chest.
Ladies and germs, this is how I console and comfort my child in pain, I smugly breastfeed my child hahaha ok no, no smug face.
the aftermath of accidentally punching yourself with that wrapped hand - darya the red nose baby dear.
No sleep for us. You were in pain. You were thrashing and screaming, tried to pull your bandage off you a couple of times. Tossing and turning, cried and cried and cried. I felt so helpless as I tried ways to console you but you kept screaming. I hug you close to my chest, hums softly and kept telling you everything is going to be alright, everything is ok, your Umi and Aby are nearby. This was you finally at 5am in the morning.
muahahha fine! pose that way! but thank you for the sneaky sneaky sleepover and accompanying us girls despite the fact that only one parent is allowed in the ward muahahahha. Sorry Kandang Kerbau.
:P
And then suddenly you got up fresh at 7am, wanting your Aby to read you a book. All hail your parents looking like a roadkill. ahahhaha
That irritating beeping machine.
HOME FINALLY!
A few hours after being discharged from the hospital on Friday 27th. This was called distraction because you were crying and holding onto your hand. I was also a victim of mozzie attack while chilling and walking around at the park.
whoppeedooo a bravery award for the wee one!
How do I feel after all this ordeal?
I am drained out; mentally and physically. My tears won't come no matter how sad or heartbroken I am. I am just pushing through and staying positive. I know the minute I let negativity get to me, I will definitely crumble and fall. No mother would want to see this happen to their child. Being put under the knife at a young age. No mother would want to see their child in pain. Seeing them scream and tears. But we have to go through this. We have to brave through this ordeal.
I am applying this attitude in my everyday life as well. My mantra - it's ok, it's alright, come on Erda fight fight fight. Words no longer break me. Say what you want to say about me. I don't care if people judge. I don't care I was being assumed wrongly. I don't care if you come from behind me with a pitchfork and start stabbing me.
Being a mother takes so much of my energy, especially with what's going on with Darya that nothing really matters anymore.
I guess I can safely say I am all grown up now?
I am sure your Aby is goddamn proud of this achievement of mine hahahahahahhahahaha.
I am yours to keep
Umi is proud of you my little trooper!
ps: visual overload on the recovery of Darya's fingers soon!
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